A Full Moon...

It is now 4.30 am. I have been awake from 3 am. Times like this I miss my wife.

I do not know where this comes from, he did not cry or anything, just suddenly found myself watching a monitor with a "wide awake" 13 month old. I fumbled and stumbled my way down to his bedroom, took him out and dragged myself back to bed in the hopes that he would fall asleep again.

No chance, talking and smiling. I even got a kiss, which felt like kiss of death (of sleep), so daddy got up, changed diaper, gave him something to drink, made coffee for myself and off we go on another day. I choose to look at this positively, long-term. Early morning nap, early afternoon nap and hopefully fairly early night.

It is full moon after all!

Helping hand...

Today was a stay indoors day. A cold front is rumbling through with strong winds, rain and bringing some cold winter temperatures. We therefore spent the day playing inside, then we lit a fire and dad put some steaks on, while mom made butternut and other vegetables in the oven, roasted butternut being our little man's favorite vegetable.

Afterwards we took a nap and then started cleaning up, while mom prepared some waffles. We decided that Boeta could share in the treat, why not, and cut his into blocks, gave it to him with a spoon and stood back.

As you can see the spoon got dumped for a more favorite tool, hands.

So after all the fun, mom placed the butternut in ice cubicles to be frozen for later use. Our little man is now allowed in most of the house, except the kitchen without supervision, but he was eager to give a helping hand with the opening and closing of stuff (fridge, doors). As you can also unfortunately see, I am 2/3's finished with the kitchen I am building and also the reason for his not being allowed in the kitchen. I was busy with the initial stages when Boeta announced his arrival and had 4 days, from birth to coming home, to get it up and running. I did it, but since then I am doing bits and pieces.

After the cleaning and sorting, playing hide and seek, he decided to attack the cushions on the couch, a favorite, and roll around with them. Then a bit of throwing balls all over the living room, just to give dad something to do when he is asleep.

We are not going to have settled weather until Wednesday, so we are going to have to explore every angle of the living room in the next few days. At least we had fun as a family.

13 months today!

Another month has rapidly raced past us, and unbelievably so, our little rascal is 13 months old, born about 25 minutes ago, from typing the post (6 am, June, 4).

My first thought is for my wife, who is in Mozambique at the moment, but coming home, later tonight. The picture of this post is a Lithops plant endemic to South Africa and it has 2 bodies representing me and Boeta, giving her a flower. You are what make us a family, mom, we miss you and love you.Walking

It has been a month of walking, and it created much excitement for all three of us. Such a great achievement. Boeta has the idea that he can now outrun us and loves playing games where he dodges us, laughing all the way. Walking means falling too, and we have had our share of this, but the lesson of get up and try again is also prevalent in our house. He has a bump on the forehead, nearly gone, to show this. Yesterday he got the first opportunity to walk in and out over what is an uneven sliding door frame to the deck. Usually I take his hand for that bit, but he felt so proud, he did it again and again, just to show that he could.

Destroyer

Another big shift this month was the destroyer becoming less destructive and showing first signs of a builder. He mostly wants to stick things into each other, like the cups, balls or rings, but have given the blocks a go as well. His frustration, I think, is the fact that he cannot control the placement well enough, and after a try or two, he eventually throws the block in frustration.

Space

As he got more mobile I increased his space to the point where he now has the bottom part of the house and the living room, leaving the kitchen and part where the steps go down. We are using "nanny panels", which is interlocking frame for a playpen to close off those 2 parts, mainly because I am still working on the kitchen and for the steps as I said. I saw some bad reactions to people using "playpens", until I realized that this was small squares or camping cots, and not what I meant. Once I have installed the gate of the steps, the kitchen will be the only truly supervised area of access. He gets used to items within the areas he plays and therefore shows much less interest in them.

Over-protection

We are first-time parents, we will only have 1 child and we waited 17 years. Those 3 statements will inevitably lead to over-protection, and who can blame us! We will have to learn to let go more with time, but we will never be the type of parents to just sit back and let things happen. Being a boy, he will give us enough to worry about as he explores and rampages. What is important, is that we do realize we have to balance, especially now that he is running around.

Our son is charging ahead and we are proud of him. We thoroughly enjoy being parents and try to continuously evaluate where we are and what we do, in order to support and guide our son. We do make mistakes and we accept it.

Conference call with mom.

This is a little story that was so funny at the time, I thought I should share it.

Mom, arriving from work, told me that she had a conference call later that day. She played a little with our son and fed him, still breastfeeding at the time, she worked half days.

When the time came, she linked for the call and Boeta took station on her lap.

I took the pictures with my mobile, but the point is the interest on his face when he heard the voices and intently listening...a big day, your first conference call.

Within 5 minutes this happened...

We just broke down in laughter and well the conference call, lucky they could not hear us, took a back stage.

So much for business things. I told my wife if we have any trouble with him sleeping again, she should please organize another conference call. Magic ingredient to get a baby to sleep.

The good and not so good - first 12 months

EATING

The good

We had problems getting him to sleep a few hours continuously at night, so we tried adding some food (rice 1st food porridge) to the mix from just over 4 months and tea (Rooibos tea). It actually helped and as time went on we added vegetables (one type for at least 3-4 days).

[embed]https://www.flickr.com/photos/little_things_expanded/14362460457/[/embed]

He had no issues with any so the mixing started of various vegetables and a few months later we added chicken and beef. His milk was still the mainstay. With time the food became more complex and we had little issues with his appetite.

The bad

The bad part about eating came later when we started introducing more grainy food, not the smooth stuff. Every now and then a gag reflex would happen, and it could get really messy if he had already a good dinner behind him. I felt sorry for him, shame, but tried to teach him by coughing at such times, which he to his amusement replicated, and we slowly got this sorted. By 11 months the issue was sorted, with a rare happening a while back, and he now chews better as well. Still not a great experience for all concerned.

Creating space for a growing boy.

We started the week (Saturday) with frustration and tiredness. This started to reduce by Monday and on Tuesday, things picked up again and we looked forward to Friday, when mom comes home. The week has been the opposite to the weather, sunny and warm from Saturday to Wednesday, cloudy, raining and winter cold again to Friday, a week of lost and found, losing bottles, finding them, losing my mind and finding it again. It has also been a week of creating space for my growing son.

I used our nanny panels to block off some areas, but his play space doubled. It means we do not have enough blocks and some tile space is now open, but it must happen at some stage and after a month of walking, he seems to protect himself better, still a keen eye will be necessary.

The blue bin is used to add and remove toys for the day, also to teach him to put them away. He also loves playing with the earth ball. It is used to kick (dribble), throw and I try to show where mom is, when she is away.

Then the 80 + year chair gets to be pushed around again by another baby. He loves this, squeaking, as the old chair works its magic again.

Above, his favorite bottle, loaded with milk and tea, usually! So glad we did not lose it. He also loves sitting on his haunches, while inspecting and doing things.

What a week we had, we got new space to play in, learned all kinds of new lessons. For now, we are focused on MOM, she is coming home tonight. A mother's touch is definitely needed now and then, even for an active little boy and his dad.

The good and the not so good about parenting - first 12 months

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We decided to make this a regular type post as a way of remembering everything. Have you noticed parents seem to get amnesia the older they and their children get? They seem to forget the not so good parts totally with age, which is totally understandable, I guess but interesting non-the-less. Early years especially! Most of us do not remember our early years, seems like nobody else (family) remembers it too.

We are not going to do best of or top ten scenario either, not fair in this context. Just mentioning a few things in our experience. Join in with comments if you like. It is a fun exercise.

The Good

One of the best moments to talk about is when you are about to put your baby to sleep or when he sometimes wakes crying and you pick him up and put him on your shoulder. In the first months this is seen as bonding and importance thereof has been written about, but as time marches on and we run around playing, feeding, bathing and all the other activities you do in a day, this becomes rare chances to take a breath.

Every now and then, within a day, you get the chance to sit in the rocking chair, with his head on your shoulder, falling asleep or being half asleep after he woke from a nap, and in that moment, all is quiet, you hear his calm breathing and you know he wants to be only there and nowhere else, his safe and warm place. You also do not want to be anywhere else, you cannot think of anything better - total bliss - you give him a little soft squeeze (baby hug). A truly special moment!

The not so good

If anyone tell you getting up in the middle of the night, multiple times, for whatever reason, was fun, they are liars! When the little alarm goes off, from the crib, you look at each other in the hopes that one would take charge. I am a light sleeper, so it usually ends up being me (shame), but mom does try to do her bit, to her credit, mentally charging herself before bed, and then when the little alarm goes, all hell breaks out in bed, with the duvet suddenly being airborne, mom charging off, halfway realizing she is going the wrong way, changing lanes, missing the furniture by millimeters, all before she really opened her eyes, saying as she nearly leaves the bedroom, "I'll go!", leaving me in pieces, cold and wide awake in any case.

While this is funny, in one sense, we were very happy when he decided to give us a break and slept through the night, around his 4th or so month. I should also mention that after ascertaining the cause of the unhappiness, being hunger, nappy, winds, sounds and so forth, we are right back at "the good"!

Parents do not leave footprints!

[caption id="attachment_306" align="aligncenter" width="474"] Boeta enjoying the walk[/caption]

Today is one of those perfect winter days again and I decided to take him for a walk. Before you think long post about him, not so, I can talk about full moon, or the fact that I cut my finger without knowing how, at 5 am this morning, his grumpiness with new teeth coming, or even the fact that I was stubborn or stupid to decide to walk in soft sand with a stroller, meaning I mostly walked vertical not horizontal - what we do for our kids.

[caption id="attachment_309" align="aligncenter" width="474"] Looking out over the ocean - what is that little mind thinking?[/caption]

The reason for this post is for all parents out there. Everybody knows the multitude of pictures regarding the "Footprints" poem. Well, it came to me that we are parents - we do not leave footprints, we leave "stroller prints"! Thousands and thousands of them.

[caption id="attachment_311" align="aligncenter" width="474"] A parent's prints![/caption]

First Letter to my son

Dear son,

I have this overwhelming urge to share things with you, but as you are still only 12 months old, putting it down on paper seems a better option.

[caption id="attachment_275" align="alignleft" width="300"] My son - 15 minutes after birth.[/caption]

Son, I am writing this while I am watching you on the baby monitor, sound asleep! Daddy cannot believe it is 12 months already since I first held you in my arms and nearly 2 years since the possibility of you came into being.

When I first saw you, when we went to the doctor, you were the size of a peanut, and I called you that for the nearly 8 months. You filled our hearts with warmth and love long before you took your first breath, times when you kicked or pushed my hand, when you still lay snuggled and warm in mommy's tummy. Even then I dreamed of the things we will do together, first bike, playing with the ball, fishing, hiking and so much more.

[caption id="attachment_270" align="alignright" width="225"] Midnight run - burping![/caption]

You must have been excited to meet us too, because you came a little earlier than expected, 3 weeks to be exact, but all fears that you were overeager vanished when you took your first breath and cried. This next part you will understand later in life, but that first cry was the most wonderful sound we ever heard and when we saw you, even though we did not know you, we knew, we will do anything to keep you safe and loved you deeply.

[caption id="attachment_268" align="aligncenter" width="474"] Rocking with dad before bed.[/caption]

Now that you have come to know us a little better, you should know that we are not perfect, and we make many mistakes, but we will always try to do our best and make decisions in your best interest. I know these decisions may sometimes seem "not agreeable" in the moment, but hopefully in future, looking back they will make sense. As parents we question ourselves regularly and re-evaluate constantly in an effort to make correct decisions and affirm our actions, and that is what parents do.

[caption id="attachment_272" align="aligncenter" width="474"] Playing dress-up![/caption]

When you were christened, I wrote this prayer for you (Translated from Afrikaans):

Dear God,
What a privilege it is to be a parent, we praise You for this gift You bestowed on us. Give us as parents the wisdom that in our task as parents we never will forget You and we ask for Your guiding Hand in the years to come.

Help us to be a good example to our son and to raise him so. Help us to make the right decisions in good and bad times and thank you for this little miracle, which just shows how much You love us as Your children.

[caption id="attachment_273" align="alignleft" width="300"] Just love this picture of my son![/caption]

To our son we pray as parents, never to let your light dim, always look to God in your life and He will light up the road ahead. Know Him in all that you do and He will strengthen you. Son, keep your eyes open, look around, keep the good close, discard the bad, keep a clear mind, be responsible. Do this so that you can always be proud of yourself, even if things do not go your way, remember God has a reason for everything.

You are our son and grandson, know that we love you dearly and even if you are far away on winding roads, you will always be just a daydream away for us. We are proud of you!

Amen

As your parents, we are so proud of you, first smile, crawl and now walking! You have achieved to so much in your first year already. You know the one thing at the moment that makes me warm from head to toe and want to hold you close for as long as I can, is when you come walking (penguin style) towards me with that big smile and outstretched hands. I really hope that as our relationship develops and you get older, you will always come to me like this, even though it most probably will be less physical and more of a more mental outreach.

[caption id="attachment_274" align="alignright" width="300"] Snuggling with mom.[/caption]

For now, my son, you love playing hide and-seek, chasing after the ball, toy inspecting, diving into your pool with a hundred balls and finding hidden stuff there, dancing while watching music on TV or dancing with us, snuggling with us in bed, reading (paging) your books, most especially you love mom's reading them to you and you absolutely love it when mom comes home with hugs and kisses. You ,most probably, will never remember these precious moments, I will never forget them.

After 1 year, I can unequivocally say, I love being a dad, but more importantly, I love being your dad.

[caption id="attachment_271" align="aligncenter" width="474"] Having fun - can anything be better?[/caption]

I cannot wait to share and see what the next year will bring!

Love
DAD

Boys will be boys

Boeta is working hard on his new-found skill of walking, something that started about a week before his first birthday. I picked up a few things in the process. Firstly the new height puts a little more strain on mom and dad to make sure we do not leave harmful things he can now grab. Secondly get a little less sturdy by evening and as tiredness kicks in, the little man tends to trip a little more.

[caption id="attachment_260" align="alignleft" width="235"] Boeta striding along![/caption]

 

Thirdly we added some bigger toys for him to push around or he even tries to pull and maneuver them into other spaces. This list will expand, I am sure as time ticks along.

 

 

 

On his birthday I gave him a 5-1 toys, starting at rocker, ending in something he can ride by using his legs. It was a F1 car! At around stage 2/3 the rocker is removed and he can ride it while someone pushes or even push it himself. Yesterday was a perfect day, so the boys took the car for a spin in daddy power mode.

It is a little difficult to see, but the little man immediately took to this and had a "racer face" and everything. The car has music, tooter and starting switch, so we charged around tooting and so on, with neighbors also having a laugh at the one year-old racer. In the next shot, take a good look at his face, while I revved up to charge away.

We had lots of fun and yes I guess "boys will be boys", never mind their age. As a final little note, he had his first "public" walk today as well, in the pharmacy, no less, and took a few steps, saw a bunch of books on a kids table, made a line for them to the delight of our long-time pharmacist. On telling my wife of this endeavor her reply was: "Glad he did not go for the Zoloft!

Perfect Little Hands

[caption id="attachment_80" align="alignnone" width="474"] Boeta, 2 weeks old[/caption]

I find the development of Boeta a wonderful experience to watch and be part of. Initially those little hands remain clenched in little fists. As many photographs depict they do have a nice grip if you put your finger in there, a type of reflex, but they are not able to actively reach and grip - this is part of future discovery!

At around 8 weeks or so those hands begin to open and initially Boeta looked like a boxer in exercise, batting at the dangling playthings. A few weeks later I was lucky enough to be making a video, when he grasped the same playthings for the first time, slowly closing the hand around the toy and yes pulling it straight to the mouth, another big moment in Boeta's life and those little hands.

[caption id="attachment_91" align="alignnone" width="222"] Boeta nearly 3 months.[/caption]

From there it was shaking of things and then he transferred toys from hand to hand. Tummy time also became more interesting as he started exploring his immediate surroundings and the materials he was placed on, with the fingers, picking up and testing with the mouth. This puts a whole new strain on Mom and Dad, making sure nothing harmful is in range. By this time hair pulling or grabbing is fun, less so for dad, but funny non-the-less.

[caption id="attachment_88" align="alignnone" width="468"] Boeta's tummy time on deck.[/caption]

The "pincer grasp", picks small things up with thumb and forefinger, seems to start from around 7-8 months and from there on he works on perfecting this over the next months. He also got stronger and lifted himself up on the still closed hands.

[caption id="attachment_87" align="alignnone" width="470"] Boeta working hard and started pulling faces too![/caption]

By around 8 months he was on all four's and starting to prepare for crawling, but only one hand seemed to be open and we played slapping games to make him comfortable with both hands being open in that position.

Interesting enough, he started crawling only once he learned to open both hands on the floor and lifting himself. That first crawl has evolved with various speeds too, slow, mid and race, which is pretty fast.

At 9 months, maybe a little later, he started trying to page through the thick paged baby books. He loves his books and spends lots of time with them in a day.

[caption id="attachment_82" align="alignnone" width="488"] Boeta preparing to crawl, one hand open in position.[/caption]

At this point it is important to note that I played various games and did regular baby exercises with him throughout the preceding months. One Friday afternoon, it all clicked and off he went.

[caption id="attachment_83" align="alignnone" width="475"] Boeta tearing down the hallway, 10 months[/caption]

By 11 months he is also trying to feed himself with some help, it is said some begin earlier, and maybe we did not attempt this earlier to know, but he is trying it now. He is forever taking toys and turning them around (upside down) and investigating, it seems, how it is put together or works.

[caption id="attachment_89" align="alignnone" width="479"] Investigating a toy![/caption]

That is where we are, keeping an eye on those hands, because they are forever looking for new things to get hold and investigate. Being low to the ground those hands can put you in a "spot" when with friends, because he quickly finds anything "normally not seen" in visits. He also quickly points out the "stuff" that should be put away!

[caption id="attachment_84" align="alignnone" width="540"] A favorite book with sliding windows[/caption]

He loves playing games with knock the soccer ball and chase it, a firm favorite, hide and seek and dad cannot catch me, I am too fast being other much-loved games. Over the past weeks he started throwing things he picked up, still funny at the moment.

[caption id="attachment_85" align="alignnone" width="497"] Gripping a ball, which has now evolved to try to throw it![/caption]

While we are having fun playing, it has become apparent that the little joker has more and more interest in walking, standing alone for longer and longer, walking around while holding on to things....and grabbing at anything he sees in the new height.

[caption id="attachment_90" align="alignnone" width="496"] Boeta is amused by his radio controlled car![/caption]

Finally as a father and not expert, above is a summary of my experiences with Boeta, a unique individual, which is true of every baby and toddler. I use child development guidelines as just that, guidelines, because every baby is different and every household equally so. In some cases he is quicker in mastering and some a little later. Importantly, he is a healthy little boy with barely any issues so far (little constipation a few months back).

[caption id="attachment_86" align="alignnone" width="459"] Eating a rice cake![/caption]

Little Hands

My little hands play patty-cake
They peek-a-boo and wave . . .
They catch me while I learn to walk
And splash me as I bathe . . .

My little hands reach up to you
For hugs before I sleep . . .
And fold together when I pray
The Lord my soul to keep . . .

My little hands are tiny now
But yours will serve to guide me . . .
And when I'm grown I'll still reach out
And know you're right beside me.

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