Thursday, 12 June 2014

Forgotten memories within a chair

In the last little period I have been thinking about a specific chair we currently use for our son and what it represents. As I thought about it I realized it represents history, family, love, joy, sadness, creativeness, learning and even in a way, tragedy. The chair I am talking about is this one.




[caption id="attachment_286" align="aligncenter" width="474"]DSC_0047 Admiring his chair[/caption]

An unassuming baby feeding chair. In modern times many would say, leave it alone, danger, it does not conform to modern standards. Something for the attic or corner in the house. We say, get your bum in son and be part of its story.


The Tragedy


In the late 1800's a horrible fatal accident took place, where a young mother was thrown from a horse and cart with a 3 month old baby boy. The mother died but the baby fell in a bush and was saved. The father gave this boy 3 names, of which 3rd was one of the mother's. This boy was my father's granddad. My father inherited his names. So, before the chair became part of our history, it nearly had another.


Family


My dad, born in 1934, was the first, I know of, who used the chair, as it is said granddad bought it while grandma was pregnant.




[caption id="attachment_292" align="aligncenter" width="474"]Frikkie en Engela My dad with his sister and yes "the chair".[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_295" align="alignleft" width="184"]Oupa,Pa en Engela Prince Albert Granddad, father and sister before they moved.[/caption]

The chair was used to raise 3 children, it moved with the family from a remote country district to the city, near 800km, due to lack of work. Here the 3rd child was born, and it was stored for later.


About 20 years later my sister was born and out came 'our chair' again to do service in silence to another group of 3 babies, of which I was the youngest.


We spent wonderful times in the chair, similar, I guess, to my father and his siblings. How do I know, mom told me.


In 2013, our son was born and as the first boy with our family name, I inherited the chair and soon after I received it, his bum was in the spot where so many people already sat and had fun, tantrums, food orgies, and whatever else.




[caption id="attachment_290" align="alignnone" width="474"]DSC_0166 Boeta's first sitting.[/caption]

Still too young at the time, it was just for a picture pose, and my intention was always to use the second part of the chair's magic at about the age we are now (12 months).


DSC_0045 DSC_0031 DSC_0036Yes, it has a party trick, it can be used as a desk for play and eat in later stages, so when we learn and play we use it and he loves walking and pushing it around.


Why the story?


In relation to this chair, an unassuming chair, if I put my hand on its base, I touch 80 years of history, if I put my ear against it I can imagine countless dinners, hysterical laughter, tapping of toys against it, burps and the many other things that go with putting a baby in such a chair. This is not just an ordinary chair, it is a vital part of our family.


With us another chair was introduced for feeding. The question is if it will stand the 80 year test, being modern, time will tell.


DSC_0074Finally, I would like to say that with chairs same as people, we need to look at them carefully, they might be old, have scratches or bruises, from time spent in service, but they can play such vital roles in our lives as one kind of support or another. They hold stories full of riches and color.


What stories would these chairs have by now?




[caption id="attachment_282" align="aligncenter" width="474"] Taken round 1930's, maybe earlier.[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_294" align="aligncenter" width="451"]Ouma en Pa My dad with his mom on another chair.[/caption]

With this post I would like to congratulate "our chair" on a job well done in raising the children so far and wish "it" the best for the future, may it be a long one! It holds forgotten memories of lives past and present, a reminder of each of our childhoods.




[caption id="attachment_281" align="aligncenter" width="474"]20130616_114143 Dad and sons on celebrating another child in the family![/caption]

Tuesday, 10 June 2014

First Letter to my son

Dear son,


I have this overwhelming urge to share things with you, but as you are still only 12 months old, putting it down on paper seems a better option.




[caption id="attachment_275" align="alignleft" width="300"]IMG00224-20130604-0622 My son - 15 minutes after birth.[/caption]

Son, I am writing this while I am watching you on the baby monitor, sound asleep! Daddy cannot believe it is 12 months already since I first held you in my arms and nearly 2 years since the possibility of you came into being.


When I first saw you, when we went to the doctor, you were the size of a peanut, and I called you that for the nearly 8 months. You filled our hearts with warmth and love long before you took your first breath, times when you kicked or pushed my hand, when you still lay snuggled and warm in mommy's tummy. Even then I dreamed of the things we will do together, first bike, playing with the ball, fishing, hiking and so much more.




[caption id="attachment_270" align="alignright" width="225"]20130819_051047 Midnight run - burping![/caption]

You must have been excited to meet us too, because you came a little earlier than expected, 3 weeks to be exact, but all fears that you were overeager vanished when you took your first breath and cried. This next part you will understand later in life, but that first cry was the most wonderful sound we ever heard and when we saw you, even though we did not know you, we knew, we will do anything to keep you safe and loved you deeply.




[caption id="attachment_268" align="aligncenter" width="474"]20130814_180542 Rocking with dad before bed.[/caption]

Now that you have come to know us a little better, you should know that we are not perfect, and we make many mistakes, but we will always try to do our best and make decisions in your best interest. I know these decisions may sometimes seem "not agreeable" in the moment, but hopefully in future, looking back they will make sense. As parents we question ourselves regularly and re-evaluate constantly in an effort to make correct decisions and affirm our actions, and that is what parents do.




[caption id="attachment_272" align="aligncenter" width="474"]DSC_2303 Playing dress-up![/caption]

When you were christened, I wrote this prayer for you (Translated from Afrikaans):


Dear God,
What a privilege it is to be a parent, we praise You for this gift You bestowed on us. Give us as parents the wisdom that in our task as parents we never will forget You and we ask for Your guiding Hand in the years to come.


Help us to be a good example to our son and to raise him so. Help us to make the right decisions in good and bad times and thank you for this little miracle, which just shows how much You love us as Your children.




[caption id="attachment_273" align="alignleft" width="300"]DSC_2309 Just love this picture of my son![/caption]

To our son we pray as parents, never to let your light dim, always look to God in your life and He will light up the road ahead. Know Him in all that you do and He will strengthen you. Son, keep your eyes open, look around, keep the good close, discard the bad, keep a clear mind, be responsible. Do this so that you can always be proud of yourself, even if things do not go your way, remember God has a reason for everything.


You are our son and grandson, know that we love you dearly and even if you are far away on winding roads, you will always be just a daydream away for us. We are proud of you!


Amen


As your parents, we are so proud of you, first smile, crawl and now walking! You have achieved to so much in your first year already. You know the one thing at the moment that makes me warm from head to toe and want to hold you close for as long as I can, is when you come walking (penguin style) towards me with that big smile and outstretched hands. I really hope that as our relationship develops and you get older, you will always come to me like this, even though it most probably will be less physical and more of a more mental outreach.




[caption id="attachment_274" align="alignright" width="300"]DSC_2591 Snuggling with mom.[/caption]

For now, my son, you love playing hide and-seek, chasing after the ball, toy inspecting, diving into your pool with a hundred balls and finding hidden stuff there, dancing while watching music on TV or dancing with us, snuggling with us in bed, reading (paging) your books, most especially you love mom's reading them to you and you absolutely love it when mom comes home with hugs and kisses. You ,most probably, will never remember these precious moments, I will never forget them.


After 1 year, I can unequivocally say, I love being a dad, but more importantly, I love being your dad.




[caption id="attachment_271" align="aligncenter" width="474"]DSC_0045 Having fun - can anything be better?[/caption]

I cannot wait to share and see what the next year will bring!


Love
DAD

Monday, 9 June 2014

Boys will be boys

Boeta is working hard on his new-found skill of walking, something that started about a week before his first birthday. I picked up a few things in the process. Firstly the new height puts a little more strain on mom and dad to make sure we do not leave harmful things he can now grab. Secondly get a little less sturdy by evening and as tiredness kicks in, the little man tends to trip a little more.

[caption id="attachment_260" align="alignleft" width="235"]Boeta striding along! Boeta striding along![/caption]

 

Thirdly we added some bigger toys for him to push around or he even tries to pull and maneuver them into other spaces. This list will expand, I am sure as time ticks along.

 

 

 

On his birthday I gave him a 5-1 toys, starting at rocker, ending in something he can ride by using his legs. It was a F1 car! At around stage 2/3 the rocker is removed and he can ride it while someone pushes or even push it himself. Yesterday was a perfect day, so the boys took the car for a spin in daddy power mode.

DSC_0437 DSC_0416It is a little difficult to see, but the little man immediately took to this and had a "racer face" and everything. The car has music, tooter and starting switch, so we charged around tooting and so on, with neighbors also having a laugh at the one year-old racer. In the next shot, take a good look at his face, while I revved up to charge away.

DSC_0401 We had lots of fun and yes I guess "boys will be boys", never mind their age. As a final little note, he had his first "public" walk today as well, in the pharmacy, no less, and took a few steps, saw a bunch of books on a kids table, made a line for them to the delight of our long-time pharmacist. On telling my wife of this endeavor her reply was: "Glad he did not go for the Zoloft!

Saturday, 7 June 2014

Our first birthday cake: A Family Affair

In choosing the theme for our son's first birthday, bunny theme came easily, as he loves a TV show for kiddies with bunnies in them, and his bunny soft toy. As part of our family traditions we also made the decision to attempt a home-made birthday cake, involving him more and more in the future, in making the cake.

[caption id="attachment_229" align="alignleft" width="300"]DSC_0083 Small circles cut from fondant.[/caption]

Dad was tasked to make the flowers and as this was new, well, dad winged it. Cut round circles, and then formed the flowers with hand and knife. Rings for self-made flowers. The initial flowers looked fairly good, but we found a flower cutter and made some blue flowers with it from fondant.

[caption id="attachment_233" align="alignnone" width="474"] Pink hand-made flowers and blue ones from cutter.[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_232" align="alignright" width="300"] Making bunny that crawl into cake[/caption]

Mom was tasked to make the bunnies and started with the first subject, the backside of one crawling into the cake. Also made from fondant, with pink rolled out cuttings for cushions of feet and toes.

[caption id="attachment_228" align="alignleft" width="300"]DSC_0080 Main bunny body and feet[/caption]

 

As mom is new to this as well (christening cake does not count as mom bought the cake topper for that cake), mom winged it as well.

 

[caption id="attachment_230" align="aligncenter" width="474"]DSC_0099 Main bunny completed[/caption]

We built two of these and glued the body parts together with egg white. These two turned out to be morbidly obese.

Mom eventually baked, and baked, and baked to produce the body of the tree trunk which consisted of four round chocolate cakes. Dad was left with the responsibility of plastering the tree trunk with icing sugar. He had lots of experience with this process as he plastered and painted the house outside recently. Boeta then still had to have a piece that he could own and mom therefor baked a batch of cupcakes. By the time we decorated these, we were exhausted!

[caption id="attachment_237" align="aligncenter" width="474"]DSC_0154 Second bunny with party hat.[/caption]

Dad also constructed the gifts, party hat, soccer and rugby balls.

[caption id="attachment_239" align="aligncenter" width="474"]DSC_0166 Side view of final cake.[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_238" align="aligncenter" width="474"]DSC_0161 Front view of cake.[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_203" align="aligncenter" width="474"]Video picture - first cake! Video picture - first cake![/caption]

[caption id="attachment_245" align="aligncenter" width="474"]DSC_0226 Cupcake went down well![/caption]

Eventually after watching the process unfold over three days, Boeta could finally enjoy his own cupcake.

This was truly a family bonding experience, mom and dad enjoyed it thoroughly. Ready for next year!

Note: For ideas on bunnies and other figures we used pinterest, a wonderful tool for ideas.

Friday, 6 June 2014

Mother nature, the parent teacher!

A while back we visited the Addo Elephant National Park. As part of our blog mission, the aim is to do posts about fauna and flora, mixed in with our parenting experiences.

This post seems more a lesson from mother nature on bathing your young and what to teach them. This is something to share with our friends. We will describe the process....

Actor: Addo Elephant

Setting: Some waterhole

Lesson: Bathing

[caption id="attachment_218" align="aligncenter" width="474"]DSC_0626-001 First, you wash sides, one side[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_219" align="aligncenter" width="474"]DSC_0630-001 then the other...[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_221" align="aligncenter" width="474"]DSC_0638-001 At least twice![/caption]

[caption id="attachment_215" align="aligncenter" width="474"]then the belly.. then the belly..[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_217" align="aligncenter" width="474"]followed by the back followed by the back[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_220" align="aligncenter" width="474"]Face Face[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_216" align="aligncenter" width="474"]Mouth Mouth[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_223" align="aligncenter" width="474"]and never forget, was behind the ears! and never forget, was behind the ears![/caption]

[caption id="attachment_222" align="aligncenter" width="474"]both ears! both ears![/caption]

Lesson done! Happy bathing.

It was fun to watch and we hope you enjoy this with us. Afterwards they went off to look for dinner...

[caption id="attachment_214" align="aligncenter" width="474"]Bathing done, time to look for dinner. Bathing done, time to look for dinner.[/caption]

Thursday, 5 June 2014

Plus One year

I have been thinking about my years and birthdays, and ever since I can remember my mom always said: "You were born at this hour, whatever many years back". It used to pass me by, never really even thought about it much, at stages as adolescent, may have been embarrassing at times.

Yesterday our son had his first birthday, and as I got up at 4.45 am, my first note to my wife was, "One year ago, he was still not born", as he was born at 6 am. She replied, "Yes, that last hour was the toughest of my whole pregnancy!" So firstly as a man, the reference to my birth hour is totally understood now, as at 6 am, 4 June 2013, my life changed forever, but that said, I can only imagine the feeling of a mother, dealing with both the end of a pregnancy and a new baby! Such powerful events, not sure "we" will ever grasp the real magnitude of it.

So at 5.15 am, yesterday, Boeta was placed in front of his home-made birthday cake, video running, so the first 3 pictures are cuttings of the video, and he sat mesmerized, looking at the sparkles, while we sang!

[caption id="attachment_203" align="aligncenter" width="474"]Video picture - first cake! Video picture - first cake![/caption]

On seeing the bunnies, he went straight for them, faint smile, a current favorite animal and the reason for the theme of the cake. (Note - will do a post of the cake separately)

[caption id="attachment_204" align="aligncenter" width="474"]It is my cake! It is my cake![/caption]

After this we blew the candle together, fun for all.

[caption id="attachment_205" align="aligncenter" width="459"]Blowing the candle! Blowing the candle![/caption]

This led us to the gifts, and he noticed the change in his playpen immediately. After opening the first two, he took off and first played with his new plastic car, then saw one of his old books, and spent the next 10 minutes paging it. We left him alone until he came back and seemingly felt ready for another gift.

[caption id="attachment_206" align="aligncenter" width="474"]Opening and trying new presents. Opening and trying new gifts.[/caption]

We found that Boeta and maybe other babies too, get overloaded quickly, if you put a lot of new things in front of him, maybe too much to explore or take in, but we leave it to him and allow him the space.

[caption id="attachment_207" align="aligncenter" width="474"]Another present later in day. Another gift later in day.[/caption]

At this point it might be interesting to mention that we did not do any formal party, but it still was a day event, in the sense of opening presents, playing together and finishing off with a barbecue with 2 close friends. Comments about first birthdays that I have read, relate to the fact that babies do not know or remember or parents that celebrate their first year as parents, or surviving their first year and I can certainly relate to all of that.

The question is if you remember picking up your first crumb or holding a toy, first smile, first of most anything? Yet they all become important milestones or events in later development and things we take as granted, like writing. In most cases people do celebrate a first birthday, for whatever reason, and giving a massive party would be a choice, but for us, we focused on being a family (love) and starting new traditions as a family (baking own cake, all hands on deck), thereby an event for all. Boeta's first contribution to this tradition  was.....eating it!

[caption id="attachment_208" align="aligncenter" width="474"]One must have some fun on your birthday! One must have some fun on your first birthday![/caption]

Monday, 2 June 2014

Cutting his hair.

Being a dad, writing this might seem funny, but maybe men just hide feelings better. Boeta has, is and will always be an exciting addition to our family as a whole. He is a late comer to the family, we were married for 17 years and his nephews and nieces are all in middle to late 20's.

He is our only child and most probably will remain so as time marches on with everyone. From the day we got pregnant it was one experience after another, a roller coaster of emotions, from profound happiness, uncertainty, tiredness, guilt, pride and many more. Every new achievement was exciting and made us as parents proud beyond believe.

Crying was the one emotion I rarely show, but I joked a few times that after witnessing the miracle of his birth, actually maybe even before that, his first movements in mommy, I got emotional at christenings of people I do not even know and beware the action hero dies in a movie (joke), but that is about how it is. Children has such an impact on a parent, much deeper than the superficial stuff.

The main reason for this post is the fact that Boeta is approaching his first birthday. Mom took off work for 3 days, and we are busy preparing his cake, making bunnies for the eventual decorations. We also decided to cut his hair just before his birthday and that process started last night.

[caption id="attachment_196" align="aligncenter" width="474"]Boeta starting to walk! Boeta starting to walk and before hair cut![/caption]

It was an experience for him (not great), but it ended up as an unexpected experience for us as well. As he finished, I looked back at those little cuttings with a deep sense of loss, feeling like we killed a part of our son. Very confusing feeling initially and after some thought over the last hours I realized that I was in mourning over the end of his first year.

It was such an amazing time, for the first, nearly 4 months, we were lucky enough to be together 24/7, as a new family. As we bonded with our child and he with us, we also had to learn to operate as a family, tougher than you think after 17 years. Through all the late nights, short nerves, and the rest, we had such an incredible time with our son and celebrated every achievement. I will miss picking him up, cuddling, sitting with him in the rocking chair, on my shoulder, walks in stroller, doing baby workouts, and many more baby fun things.

[caption id="attachment_197" align="aligncenter" width="474"]After first cut. After first cut.[/caption]

Now that I have come to grips with my emotions, yesterday, I feel better as well, and today I hope I took enough pictures and video, to enjoy those moments over and over again. I am also looking forward to the next year, talking, running and playing with my son and yes on cue he started walking the past week, our baby is becoming a toddler!