A Storm Blew In…

Last night, a few hours ago, various types of storms blew in from all directions. It is 3.30 am, and I am typing a post! I am doing this because it is fresh in my mind or is it because my mind is still fairly fresh? The obvious part of this story is the real cold front that reached us last night, and came in with a huff and a puff, strong winds, temperature dropped by 10 degrees C, but not much else so far. In Cape Town, there is localized flooding, some areas are getting snow, I expected more, but maybe this part is still coming.   Another storm came in the form of mommy. We were both excited, well, I was from early Friday, also anxious, because of the issues with all the airplanes in the world, you get nervous, and just want her to be back home. In any case, I think our 13 month son picked up on the excitement and also seemed to be excited yesterday. Mom arrived and I kept him awake for it, as she walked in, he came around the corner and froze. Mom, in tears and overjoyed, grabbed him, hugged and kisses followed. He was just stunned at the rush of estrogen in the house. After about 10 minutes, his little brain computed what had just happened and he suddenly started running and then came and stood in front of us, smiling and grabbing mom by the legs, ran away again, came back, same procedure. There is something else that happened, the family is back together, I am not a single parent anymore, I am a husband and a dad. To that end, a few thoughts. For a week, and this is very nearly every week, I make decisions around our son, suddenly another decision-maker is in the house. This normally is not an issue, as mom falls in with what is happening and we are fairly aligned with things involving our son. She does do things a little different, which is not bad, in fact, I think it is great for both the boys. Although there is a deep bond between the boys, there is the wonderful bond of "a mother and child", I saw that last night again and I just realized how important the loving touches are for him and me. I would not be surprised to know that a man developed the "King size bed". Not sure how many men get allocated 1/3rd of the bed in the bedroom, I know my dad always joked about that, but after sleeping alone, suddenly we are in the same bed again, takes some getting used to. She slept like a log on her 2/3rd, I slept 1 and half hours on my bit. I am not complaining, just saying. The best part is not having to be there all the time for at least 48 hours, giving me a little break, mentally, but this is also something to get used to for both of us, because mom need to realize that a toddler is busy, especially those little hands. I guess my point in this post would be that a traveling, working parent brings other factors into the equation. It is not just the bonding and giving parents and child a chance to bond again that is important, it is the constant changes in the household, between the parents and not to mention the growing and ever-changing toddler, what is good today, may not be tomorrow. We are lucky to have a 17 year start on our marriage, but still, it is a constant process of talking, understanding, compromising, making little adjustments within a fluid environment of being parents and spouses.

Postcards from a traveling Mom.

I have just returned from a 7 day work trip. This time not far,  just to another city in our country, but when you are away from home, the distance does not really matter, except that you can get home faster in an emergency, if you are closer.

As you would have realized, if you have read my husbands posts before, I have the most wonderful and supportive husband who looks after our one year old on a full-time basis,  while I work full-time. Every now and then I am reminded of  how lucky I am to have him around.

This week I had a conversation with a colleague, who as a single parent who also travels for work and have to rely on a live in nanny to look after her toddler. She told me that she is about to fire the nanny as she came home every day the last week to a toddler with soaked clothes. Her daughter has regressed a little with her potty training  and she asked the nanny to just take her to the loo every hour and a half so that she does not have these accidents. My colleague told me how upset she was to find the child every night with every layer of clothing soaked through. I wanted to cry on her behalf. It must be heartbreaking to have to leave your child with someone, just to find out that this heartless individual does not give a hoot. So, although my husband and I some times have to deal with insensitive comments of people who does not understand our situation, we are very lucky that at least one of us can be the primary caregiver.

It is not easy to leave my family to travel for work, but it is what it is and for me to change jobs to find one does not require traveling, I would have to uproot my family and move to a big city, as there is not enough jobs around here for me, that would allow me to support my family. In a big city my son would not have the same quality environment to grow up in. I choose at this stage not to do so.

When I returned to work after my maternity leave and had to start traveling again, I thought that I would feel guilty all the time while being away, but this did not happen. Do not get me wrong, it is hard to say goodbye. Most of the time that I walk from the security check to the boarding gate, I struggle to hold the tears back, but when I board that plane, I remind myself that my job is to ensure that my beautiful son has food to feed him in his high chair, has a roof over his head and that we can send him to school and university one day. I am so grateful that I have a job that I love and a family that loves and support me at home.

Time to go and do some laundry so that I can pack my suitcase tonight. Off again tomorrow on the 6am flight. Until another time...